MY path to peace
Like many others called to explore the path of healing, my journey began through soul searching to heal myself. Depression and suicide attempts led me to the darkest and deepest parts of my inner being and finally I decided to start an inner quest to the core of my issues and pain. The path out of darkness was challenging but led me to meet some unforgettable healers and started a journey that has changed my life in every way possible.
Of course, I received exactly what I needed at the right time.
The week I met with the frog was a particularly heavy one, the second lowest point of my life in fact. All sorts of hellish thoughts were circulating my mind and the future looked bleak from my depressed perception. I almost did not make it to the healing festival that I had planned to attend that weekend because of my aversion to leave home and the safe place I had created for myself. I did not want to see anyone but I felt trapped and lonely - the familiar duality of a depressed and anxious mind. Due to some acts of magic and sheer synchronicity I ended up at the festival which was filled with herbal teas and conscious workshops. It was nice but I couldn't find joy anywhere as it was not within me to feel.
By chance we attended a talk on the healing benefits of Kambo and although I had never heard of this medicine before, something called me to try it. I assumed that because of my less healthy younger years a purge for my body would be great. Little did I know that this was the beginning of a new life for me that I could never have dreamed of.
Over that same weekend I had another session of Kambo. The physical affects were immediate, I felt a shift that was very strong within my body, it had never felt so energised and there was a feeling as if a 'fogginess' had been lifted from my mind. Over the next weeks and months I made a lot of changes in my life and had some realisations that felt like they were guidance from my deepest soul yearnings. The grip of my depression had lessened which was hard to believe as I had experienced this for most of my childhood and certainly all of my adult life.
After doing some research about this magical medicine I discovered that in the forest the tribes not only used Kambo to enhance physical strength and stamina but also to relieve themselves from 'Panema' a word used to describe dark energy or bad luck that they believe affects a persons wellbeing. I resonated with this as it seemed to have lifted something from my mind allowing me to find joy in my life once more.
A year later in 2014 I was called to attend the very first intensive Kambo training course in Portugal. Over that Summer I worked holding circles and helped create a retreat space. I gained much experience working in a conscious community as well as holding space and serving the medicine. Alongside all of the training I continued with my own healing journey that shed years of self loathing, self doubt and self sabotage.
Since then I have created my own practice serving Kambo all around the world including India, Ibiza, Berlin, mainland Spain and in various locations around the UK. When I am sat with my warriors guiding them through their experience I am humbled that my life has given me such a gift, to lead circles in this way. Every soul I meet adds value to my life and I am eternally grateful to share this unique medicine from the forest.
I am still humbly facing the inevitable challenges that come as a sensitive soul in this time, my empathetic nature that I once saw as a curse feels like the most beautiful of blessings. In those nights when I felt like there was no hope I found strength I did not know possible within my own heart.
Thanks to the guidance of medicines, healers and teachers I have been able to cultivate the capacity to face myself and in turn learn to guide others to see the beauty that lies within themselves. Nothing is of higher value than experiencing first hand years of pain and when I meet people at these points in their lives I feel ultimate gratitude to be able to relate in the most authentic way and connect heart to heart.
Rather than searching for something beyond ourselves to heal us and make the pain go away, I believe that opportunities are revealed to us at the right time so that we can heal from within and see the results of our deep inner work reflected back to us from the outer world.
We have everything we need within, sometimes we just need a little guidance to help us on our path and this is always revealed at the perfect time - everything in its right place!